


I'd Rather Be Alone

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Canon Compliant, Character Death, Crying, Curses, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Kissing, Podfic Welcome, Quidditch, Romance, Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-19
Updated: 2014-02-19
Packaged: 2018-01-13 01:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 10,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1207720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story chronicles Cho Chang's life throughout the books, starting from when she first appears in Prisoner of Azkaban until Deathly Hallows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally posted on fanfiction.net under the same username, where it can still be found.

_She was shorter than Harry by about a head, and Harry couldn’t help noticing, nervous as he was, that she was extremely pretty. She smiled at Harry as the teams faced each other behind their captains, and he felt a slight lurch in the region of his stomach that he didn’t think had anything to do with nerves._

_\- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_

* * *

She could still remember the look on his face when she smiled at him before the Quidditch match. Of course, she had heard about him (who hadn't, after all?), and the thrill of competing against him for the Snitch was excitement like never before.

  
She surreptitiously flirted with him throughout the entire match, nudging his broom whenever she could, darting around the pitch and giving him brief smiles when he looked her way. She couldn't help observing how good he was at flying, and she could tell he was a true natural at it, zooming about on his Firebolt. She let him overtake her, but couldn't resist following him just to see how he would react.  
  
She didn't approach him much afterwards, but she always noticed his eyes darting her way ever so slightly whenever she passed him in the corridors, following her when she entered the Great Hall with her fellow Ravenclaws. Then came the Quidditch World Cup, and she remembered giggling in her bed as she recalled how he spilt his water down his shirt in obvious shock when she smiled and waved at him.


	2. Fourth Champion

The look of shock that registered on his face was visible even from the Ravenclaw table, as Dumbledore read Harry's name out with an obvious quiver in his severe tone. Cho knew Harry hadn't put his name in - he wasn't that smart, despite the fact that he had evaded death three times so far. Because of this, while all the other Ravenclaws shunned him, she was the only one who glanced back at him when they passed each other.  
  
When Draco Malfoy approached her with his sack of POTTER STINKS badges, she had flatly refused to wear one, and even threatened to hex him if he tried to ask her again, and he had wisely backed off. She knew how upset Harry was about being the fourth Champion, what with his friends ignoring him and all, and decided to support him in her own small way.

* * *

He was ever so _brave_ , she thought, facing that Hungarian Horntail. Being a Ravenclaw, she knew that it was the most dangerous dragon out of the four, and she cheered along with everyone else when he whisked off with the golden egg. She wanted to talk to him afterwards, but she couldn't find him anywhere. Perhaps he was celebrating with his Gryffindor friends back in his common room.

  
She resorted to join the Hufflepuffs instead, who were celebrating outside the greenhouses with Professor Sprout. That was where she had first spoken to Cedric. She didn't notice how his eyes had lingered on her longer than they should have, and when she grasped his hand in hers and told him how brave he was, he gave her a rare, winning smile; her heart fluttered, if only for a moment, thinking of how those words should have been for Harry, and not for the handsome Hufflepuff.

* * *

_“Er,” he said._

_He couldn’t ask her. He couldn’t. But he had to. Cho stood there looking puzzled, watching him._

_The words came out before Harry had quite got his tongue around them._

_“Wangoballwime?”_

_“Sorry?” said Cho._

_“D’you — d’you want to go to the ball with me?” said Harry._

_Why did he have to go red now? Why?_

_“Oh!” said Cho, and she went red too. “Oh Harry, I’m really sorry,” and she truly looked it. “I’ve already said I’ll go with some- one else.”_

_“Oh,” said Harry._

_It was odd; a moment before his insides had been writhing like snakes, but suddenly he didn’t seem to have any insides at all._

_\- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_

* * *

As the Yule Ball approached, she hoped and hoped that Harry would ask her, but noticed with disappointment that he seemed to be rather shy. Before she could think about it any longer, Cedric had approached her. She couldn't say no - her friends were all watching her, goggling at the sight, and anyway, she had always admired him for his good looks. He turned out to be a fine choice, as he was the perfect, sweet gentleman she had always dreamed of.

  
But then Harry Potter came when he should have done so earlier, and she had never felt so torn as she saw the disappointment evidently showing on his face when she said she already had a date.

* * *

 

_“Who’re you going with?” “Oh — Cedric,” she said. “Cedric Diggory.”_

_“Oh right,” said Harry._

-       _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_

* * *

She had intended to conceal the fact that her date was Cedric, as she knew how bitter Harry felt from the Quidditch defeat last year, but when he asked her, she had to tell him the truth. She almost faltered at the hurtful look on his face, and wanted to apologise, but it was already too late. And besides, in such a situation, what good would an apology do?

* * *

She had to admit that she did love Cedric, but only a little. It was more like puppy love than anything serious, childish and naïve. However, she did have to admit how safe she felt when she was in his arms, and the way she laughed as he twirled her around on the silvery dance floor. She tried to ignore the way Harry steadfastly looked away from her, refusing to dance with his own date, but was too caught up in the fun of it to really care.  
  
The Second Task came around, and she was placed into a dreamless sleep before being submerged underwater at the bottom of the lake. When her head broke the surface, she gasped a shuddering breath and brushed her long hair out of her face. Cedric was holding her, his brow furrowed with concern as he watched her. She fell back into his chest and coughed, and he quickly dragged her to shore, heaving her up onto the platform before clambering on himself.  
  
They dried themselves with the towels Ludo offered them, and when they were done, they looked at each other. For a moment, both were speechless, until Cedric looked at her again and grinned. "We made it," he said. She nodded and grinned back at him, and he swept her again into his arms again for one long kiss. Her heart soared. She couldn't be happier then, with a boy she loved sharing the taste of victory with her...  
  
She should have known that it wasn't going to last.


	3. Mourning

"Let me through!" she yelled, frantic to find out what was going on. At first, all she could see was people standing up and screaming all around her. The stands on which she was standing were overwhelmed with chaos. Commotion filled the air, pressing inwards, suffocating her, and as she fought to escape, she heard people shouting in horror and shock.  
  
“What’s happened?”  
"What’s wrong with him?”  
 _“Diggory’s dead!”  
_  
At the latter, she froze. _No_ , she thought. _They're lying, they must be._ But suddenly, the crowd cleared, and she saw Harry lying on the ground, Dumbledore next to him, and a body... _a body?_  
  
She screamed - a long, heart-wrenching wail that tore through her and deadened the noise everyone else was making. She wasn’t going to accept this, this wasn’t happening to her, not now. "I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" she screamed. "CEDRIC! _CEDRIC…!_ "  
  
But nothing she said would wake him; his dark gray eyes stared into the heavens, where his soul already lay.

* * *

During the summer holidays, the _Daily Prophet_ came around to her house and interviewed her for an article about Cedric that was never released, what with Fudge’s refusal to believe that You-Know-Who had returned, consequently censoring everything that had to do with the aftermath of the Triwizard Tournament. She didn’t care anymore. She answered all their questions, didn’t elaborate unless she was asked, and did so in a toneless, emotionless voice.

But when no one was looking, she would run to a secluded area and cry until no more tears would come to her eyes. And when she couldn't do that, she would rush to her room, hide under her sheets and find comfort there to mourn for him in peace. She didn’t love him, not really, but he didn’t deserve to die. The injustice of the Dark Lord killing such an innocent soul was incomprehensible to her.  
  
Her grief was such that she was almost sacked from her position in the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. She wasn't coming to practices because she was crying late into the night, but when her Quidditch Captain confronted her about it, she had no choice but to 'deal with it and grow up', as the other Ravenclaw had put it.

* * *

She was in her sixth year. It was no different to the rest, and even if it was, she didn’t feel it. She was on the Hogwarts Express with Marietta Edgecombe and a couple of other Ravenclaw girls she had come to know well in the past few years at Hogwarts. She meant to go to the bathroom on the train, but passed a compartment containing four people. A second glance told her than one of the people in the compartment was Harry. She approached the door and slid it open. As soon as she did so, she knew it was a bad time.

Her face flushed slightly as she saw Harry, Neville, Ginny and a Ravenclaw girl she had seen before but didn't know by name completely covered in some sort of stinky glutinous liquid. She attempted to minimize the awkwardness of the situation by saying something, but ended up muttering, “Um…” in a very pronounced way, which only made the pause in between all the more pregnant. "Well… just thought I’d say hello… bye then.” She made a hasty retreat, feeling very stupid.  
  
She tried to make conversation with him again when they saw each other at Hogwarts. She would have spoken to him longer, perhaps alone if she had been lucky, if not for the fact that Ronald Weasley had completely ruined the moment. What was it to _him_ if she supported the Tornados, after all? She was glad that the Stinksap hadn't made a lasting effect on Harry, and decided to treat the matter as a joke, and he gratefully obliged to do the same. The conversation had been going well, until he mentioned her summer.  
  
Her life had taken a sharp, steep downturn. She couldn't concentrate on her exams, and couldn't cope with the stress of her studies, which she normally did without fail. Apart from falling behind in her classes, she had to deal with people telling her how sorry they felt for her and Cedric. Their empty words of condescending comfort did nothing to console her whatsoever.  
  
As for Harry...even she herself was surprised at how she wasn't being hostile to him. Her Ravenclaw friends were constantly speculating about what had happened after Cedric and Harry grabbed the Triwizard Cup, their stories becoming more and more ludicrous as time progressed. She didn't blame him at all, she found to her own surprise. After all, he had brought Cedric's body back...

 _Don't think about it_ , a small voice muttered in her head. _You don't want to run off crying again_...but already she was fighting down tears that struggled to escape from her dark eyes, and her knowledge of this caused her to flee before anyone else could see.


	4. Umbitch

There were rumours going round that Harry had faced up to Umbridge, and Cho had no doubt that this was true. After seeing the extent of Harry’s bravery the previous year, facing Umbridge was probably nothing compared to Voldemort. _I should tell him_ , she thought. Suddenly, she sat up in her dormitory bed – today’s date sounded oddly familiar…  
  
Her mother’s birthday! How could she have forgotten? She scrambled out of the covers and took a large bar of Honeydukes chocolate from her drawer, stuffing it into a small brown parcel. She looked around at her fellow Ravenclaws who were still fast asleep, as she tied a long piece of brown string around the parcel. It was still early in the morning, but she couldn’t let this wait. What would her mother think if she forgot her birthday and the parcel came later than expected? It was very important for the Chinese to respect their parents. She simply couldn’t afford pretending to forget this.  
  
After haphazardly putting on some clothes and straightening her blue-bronze tie, she walked to the Owlery. On the way, Peeves swooped by the statue of Paracelsus and decapitated it, but she narrowly dodged the stone head and the bust went crashing to the floor. She left quickly before the Bloody Baron came round to tell Peeves off, and her slow and carefree amble gradually broke into a run.  
  
She was puffing and slightly out of breath by the time she saw the Owlery ahead of her. She wasn’t expecting to see anyone, but as she pushed the door open and walked through she saw him standing there, as if he was just about to exit. They blinked at each other for a second, but Harry decided to make the first move, greeting her in an unusually bright voice. She smiled nervously. “Oh…hi,” she said breathlessly. “I didn’t think anyone would be up here this early…I only remembered five minutes ago, it’s my mum’s birthday.” _Was it five minutes ago?_ she thought suddenly, but decided it was too trivial a matter to worry about.  
  
They stared at each other, each becoming more uncomfortable by the second. Cho started to fidget slightly, the parcel dangling in her right hand. Harry’s eyes shifted, and he glanced briefly out the window. Cho suddenly noticed how good Harry looked in profile – his eyes glittered as the sun reflected off his glasses. She fought the urge to tell him so, but decided instead to look around for an owl which was big enough to carry her package.  
  
She decided to say something, anything. “Good Quidditch conditions. I haven’t been out all week, have you?” She was telling the truth – apart from classes and mealtimes, she had spent her entire week holed up in her room and staring into space. Her friends constantly asked her what the matter was, but she merely replied with, “I’m thinking,” every time they did so. Since that particular phrase was generally considered as normal and even bordering on intellectual among the Ravenclaws, her friends left her alone. Meanwhile, she had picked a small barn owl to do the job, and it lifted its leg so she could tie her parcel to it. It was growing rather restless, however, as the brown string was rather fiddly.  
  
She looked back and locked eyes with Harry again. She noticed with amusement that his face was gradually going pink. “No,” he replied quickly.  
  
 _Okay_ , she thought. _Now I’ll just say something to keep the conversation going…_ “Hey, has Gryffindor got a new Keeper yet?” she asked. She knew there had been tryouts for it – her Quidditch Captain and Angelina had a rather heated discussion the other day about who was to book the pitch first for the tryouts. Eventually, Angelina had won. Meanwhile, the owl snapped at her fingers, but Cho quickly moved them out of the way, her fast reaction a gift she had developed from years of rigorous training for being a Seeker.  
  
“Yeah,” said Harry. “Ron Weasley, d’you know him?”

 _Of course I know him_ , she thought irritably. She would remember anyone who dared to insult the Tornados, and Ron Weasley had been particularly sharp with her that time.

Trying to act nonchalant about it, she said, “The Tornado-hater? Is he any good?” Harry could tell that she hadn’t really forgiven his best friend for it, but decided to drop the matter and reply with, “Yeah, I think so. I didn’t see his tryout, though, I was in detention.”  
  
 _Detention with Umbridge_ , she thought with a start and a subsequent shiver of dislike. Now that he had brought it up, she thought it to be the right moment to tell him exactly what she thought of the pink woman. She looked up at him with her concerned dark eyes, the parcel forgotten. The small brown owl gave a small hoot of indignance and glared at her with big yellow eyes, as if it was saying _Get on with it, so I can deliver this thing!_ _  
  
_“That Umbridge woman’s foul,” she said in a low voice. Her voice trembled slightly - oh, what would _happen_ if someone heard them. “Putting you in detention just because you told the truth about how — how — how he died." She could feel the tears coming back, that familiar lump rising once again, but she suppressed it with a shake of her head. "Everyone heard about it," she continued, "it was all over the school." She paused, thinking of Cedric again, and gave an involuntary jerk of the shoulder as tears formed in her eyes. She looked up at him and said in a choked voice, "You were really brave standing up to her like that.”  
  
She could tell her words had an effect on him. His face grew pinker, if that was even possible. She could tell he was about to say something, but just then, the door opened with a creak. Both of them turned, their faces alert.

* * *

_“Aha!” said Filch, taking a flat-footed step toward Harry, his pouchy cheeks trembling with anger. “I’ve had a tip-off that you are intending to place a massive order for Dungbombs!”_

_\- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_

* * *

Dungbombs? Why in Earth would Harry ever want anything to do with _Dungbombs_?  
  
“Now hand over whatever it is you’re sending,” said Filch with glee. Cho smiled inwardly. _Fat chance._ As if voicing her thoughts, Harry replied, "I can’t, it’s gone.” Cho took this opportunity to stare with a curl in her lip at Filch, who was bristling slightly, his face turning purple. “ _Gone?_ ” he exclaimed, outraged.  
  
“Gone,” repeated Harry simply. Cho could have giggled at the look on Filch's face; he looked remotely like a goldfish at the moment, but at the look on Harry's face, she thought better of it. Filch took this opportunity to look down at Harry's robes. "How do I know you haven’t got it in your pocket?”  
  
“Because —”

“I saw him send it,” she said without thinking, before she could stop herself. Her reaction had almost been automatic.

She tried to repeat it with more conviction. “That’s right, I saw him,” she said defiantly. Filch withered slightly under her fierce gaze as they stared at each other. The owl hooted again; Cho mentally begged it to stop interrupting, or she would have to select another less bothersome owl. She continued to glare at him unflinchingly until he blinked and shuffled backwards, muttered something under his breath and left.

“Thanks,” Harry said. Cho turned to her owl again, which had managed to keep quiet during her staring match with Filch, and finished tying the parcel to its leg. Her hair fell conveniently around her face so Harry couldn't see her blush; she had originally wanted to cut her hair during the summer as a tribute to Cedric, but hadn’t in the end, which she was currently glad for. “No problem,” she answered quietly. “You weren’t ordering Dungbombs, were you?” she added out of curiosity.  
  
“No,” said Harry with a laugh. She was now carrying the owl to the window, the bird hopping on her arm as she did so. “I wonder why he thought you were, then?” she said. She heard his robes rustle for a moment, and was quite sure he had shrugged. The owl flew off with one last hoot of goodbye before disappearing into the trees.

Cho desperately wanted to say something as they walked together back to the castle, but nothing came to mind. They reached the west wing. "I'm going this way," she said. "Well, I’ll...I’ll see you around, Harry.”  
  
“Yeah...see you.”


	5. Hog's Head

"Come _on_ , Marietta, it'll be worth it, I promise."  
  
Her hand was on her best friend's arm, gently coaxing and pulling her towards the Hog's Head. Marietta had reluctantly obliged to Cho bringing her to Hogsmeade, but when she heard about where they were heading, she looked as if she wanted to turn and leave. "Marietta...come along, please." With a low grunt, Marietta allowed herself to be pulled into the dark, dingy-looking bar.  
  
Harry looked up almost as soon as she entered the room. His startling green eyes widened in surprise, his glass of Butterbeer stopped its journey to his lips as they fell open as well. She merely smiled at him, sat next to Ron Weasley (she would have chosen a better seat, but there were none left) and listened to what they had to say.  
  
She could easily tell he was nervous. He was fidgeting with his hands in his lap, and the edge of his right eye was twitching slightly. After a few minutes, however, he seemed to loosen up a bit more, especially when the people around her began to bring up his brave antics in previous years. The Philosopher's Stone, the Basilisk, hundreds of Dementors...but they had forgotten something.  
  
“And that’s not to mention,” she commented, looking at Harry with a glint in her eye, "all the tasks he had to get through in the Triwizard Tournament last year — getting past dragons and merpeople and acromantulas and things..." Harry blushed so obviously she was surprised no one else noticed it. He began to stammer again, and generally got quieter until their meeting had ended.  
  
She meant to approach him afterwards, but Marietta seemed to be in a hurry. Obviously she didn't want her to hang around any longer, but honestly, was the tongue-clicking really necessary? She lingered for a while, fastening the catch on her bag, then unfastening it again when no one was looking, and doing it up again. She was waiting for Ron and Hermione to clear out so she could talk to Harry alone, but one particularly loud click from Marietta made her huff and turn to the door. Her best friend dragged her out, but not before she looked back at Harry and waved with her fingers fluttering briefly.


	6. In Times of Need

_Wow._ _  
_  
That was the first thought that came into her head as she entered a room she had never seen before in her entire life. Shelves bursting with countless volumes of books, comfortable cushions stacked in the corner, and space. A _lot_ of space. "This is fantastic!" she exclaimed in delight. She was so pleased by the room, she didn't hesitate to announce that Harry should be leader. She saw his appreciative blush from the other side of the room where he and his two friends stood.  
  
They began with the Disarming Spell. She was doing perfectly fine at first, taking turns with Marietta to disarm each other as quickly as possible. Both of them were admittedly having a lot of fun, until Harry walked over. Her muscles seemed to seize up at the sight of him, and her wand movements became clumsier the closer he got. “Oh no,” she said somewhat wildly as he approached. “ _Expelliarmious_! I mean, _Expellimellius_! I — oh, sorry, Marietta!”  
  
Marietta gave her a long, withering look as she put out the fire with a swish of her wand. Cho blushed furiously and looked at Harry with indignance. "You made me nervous, I was doing all right before then!” It was his turn to look sheepish; "That was quite good," he said, but she could tell he was fibbing from the way he wouldn't look at her in the eye. She raised an eyebrow at him and he confessed almost instantaneously, “Well, no, it was lousy, but I know you can do it properly, I was watching from over there...”  
  
He had been watching her? Her heart skipped a beat and she giggled excitedly. Marietta rolled her eyes and turned away, but she chose not to comment.  
  
The two struck up a conversation; Cho was surprised this time at how easily the words came to her, like they had been friends since as early as they could remember. She almost groaned when they had to leave, but stopped herself and silently made her way back to Ravenclaw Tower.


	7. Mistletoe

_He could not think. A tingling sensation was spreading throughout him, paralyzing his arms, legs, and brain._ _  
She was much too close. He could see every tear clinging to her eyelashes..._

_\- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_

* * *

She tried to convince herself it was a moment of weakness, but she knew that was a lie.

 _"Mistletoe.”  
_  
What had she been thinking?  
  
 _"What are nargles?"  
_  
She liked him. She did. Holy crap, she did, _a lot_. The realisation of this hit her so hard she inwardly teetered back and forth as her thoughts tumbled about and piled up in her mind. But what about Cedric? _He's dead,_ a little voice whispered in her ear. _And he won't come back, ever._ "Stop it," she said to herself. She swore under her breath. The last thing she wanted now was to look like some lunatic, talking to herself.  
  
How could she love two people at the same time? She had to admit to herself now that she had loved Cedric; she wouldn’t have spent so long crying for him otherwise. But logic reasoned that it was impossible; if that was true, then who had she truly chosen in her heart? She didn't know, nor did she want to... thoughts were swirling in her head in a frenzy, bumping into the walls of her skull and colliding with each other... she had a headache...  
  
 _"I really like you, Harry..."_


	8. Hogsmeade

"Hi, Harry."  
  
He blushed again as he turned around and saw her; she gave Hermione a significant look and she dragged Ron away, muttering some excuse about going to the library. _Thank Merlin Hermione's intelligent_ , she thought. To tell the truth, she had always wondered why Hermione hadn't ended up in Ravenclaw. Then again, perhaps she had been a Hatstall...  
  
"Have a good Christmas?" she asked conversationally. She hoped he had - she hadn't been able to stop thinking about him since she approached him under the mistletoe. She saw his Adam's apple bob slightly before he answered that yes, he had.  
  
“Mine was pretty quiet." He looked at her for a moment with a quizzical gaze, she tried to look nonchalant, but failed as she felt the familiar heat rush to her cheeks. She ducked her head, hoping he would think she looked embarrassed. She really hoped he would understand what she was going to say next.  
  
“Erm... there’s another Hogsmeade trip next month, did you see the notice?” She noticed his eyebrow raise slightly; he looked rather nonplussed for a moment. “What? Oh no, I haven’t checked the notice board since I got back..."  
  
“Yes, it’s on Valentine’s Day..." 

 _Come on_ , she thought with desperation, subconsciously shifting her feet. _Please, please, please take the hint_...but Harry looked as confused as ever. “Right,” he stammered. "Well, I suppose you want to — ?” 

Her heart leapt to her throat and sped up. “Only if you do,” she said breathlessly, eager eyes fixing on his emerald green.  
  
He was looking puzzled once again. Her face fell. “Oh, it’s okay if you don’t,” she said softly, slightly disappointed - no, that was an understatement; she had never been so disappointed in her life. “Don’t worry. I-I’ll see you around.” She trudged off, her hair swinging left and right as she walked away.  
  
She mentally blamed herself for starting the conversation in the first place. She shouldn't have gotten her hopes up so quickly; after all, they had only kissed that one time, before that they were merely friends...she gave a dejected sigh.  
  
“Cho! Hey — CHO!” Her heart skipped a beat, she thought, _I mustn't think it's him, it'll just disappoint me again when it isn't_ , but she felt his hand on her shoulder, pulling her back, forcing her to turn around.  
  
“Er — d’you want to come into Hogsmeade with me on Valentine’s Day?”  
  
 _Finally!_  

“Oooh, yes!” she exclaimed excitedly, and she felt herself blushing again. _I must stop doing that too often_. She gave him a smile, showing her bright, perfectly lined teeth she had always prided herself upon. He grinned back and they departed, both of them with a bounce in their step.


	9. Fiasco

She couldn't help but notice the lengths he went to look good for the occasion. He was dressed in a green sweater she hasn't seen before, which brought out his eyes in a way that seemed rather entrancing; black trousers, and he had attempted to flatten his hair with what looked like water, but had epically failed from the way it stuck up at the back. Still, he looked very handsome - she held back a giggle as she said hello to him. His hand made a sharp jerky movement, as if to hold it out to her, but he thought better of it and it stopped. “Well — er — shall we go, then?”  
  
They talked for a while, with awkward pauses in between where they just stared smilingly at each other. Every time she looked at him, he blushed; it was cute, she had to admit. The longing on his face when he saw Ron, Ginny and the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team zooming about on their brooms was unmistakable, and she looked up too, commenting, “You really miss it, don’t you?” He turned slightly - again, she observed how good he looked in profile - and sighed dejectedly, not unlike the sigh she had made when she thought he wasn't going to ask her out. "Yeah, I do."  
  
 _Talk about old times_ , she thought. _That always brings up happy things._ “Remember the first time we played against each other, in the third year?” she asked him. She almost said 'fourth', but realised in time that she was a year older than him. “Yeah,” said Harry, grinning. “You kept blocking me.”

So far, things were going well. Both of them were feeling relaxed as they reminisced back to the first Quidditch match where they had first met. Did he know she had been flirting with him? “And Wood told you not to be a gentleman and knock me off my broom if you had to." She smiled again, and once again, he blushed. This conversation continued for some time.  
  
He grinned back cheerfully, looking a little more confident. They passed the gate, and she was about to say something again when Pansy Parkinson passed with her friends. _Oh no._  
  
“Potter and Chang!” screeched Pansy to a chorus of snide giggles. “Urgh, Chang, I don’t think much of your taste...At least Diggory was good-looking!” _Don't bring him up_ , she wanted to shout. _I was having a perfectly good time, and you just had to ruin it, didn't you?_ Thankfully, Harry had also taken the hint to ignore what Pansy had taunted them with. Then again, they were a rather odd pair - he was only slightly taller than her, and because of her Asian features, she had the distinct impression that she looked older than him too. But that didn't matter, did it?  
  
After visiting Dervish and Banges, where both of them looked at things and picked them up without actually observing anything. When they had left the shop, she looked around. It was raining...perhaps they could have a drink somewhere. “Um...d’you want to get a coffee?” she said nervously. “Yeah, all right,” he said, and she breathed an inward sigh of relief.  
  
“Cute, isn’t it?” she said brightly, as the door tinkled to welcome them into Madam Puddifoot's. She barely noticed Harry's unconvincing murmur of assent before saying in a happy voice, “Look, she’s decorated it for Valentine’s Day!”


	10. Jealousy

“You’re meeting Hermione Granger? Today?”  
  
How insensitive could he be? Why was he meeting up with _Hermione_ afterwards? Wasn't he planning to spend the entire day with _her_? Jealousy bubbled inside her; her cheeks flushed pink, but not out of embarrassment. She would have to get him back for it. She looked round and noticed Roger Davies. He was kissing his girlfriend, but his eyes opened for a moment and noticed her. For a moment he looked slightly bashful, but looked away before she could say anything. She turned her head and noticed Harry watching her with a fairly bemused expression. “He asked me out, you know,” she said quietly. “A couple of weeks ago. Roger. I turned him down, though.”  
  
 _Ha._ It was a complete and utter lie, but not entirely far-fetched. Just enough to get a rise out of him. After a few minutes, however, she realised he didn't seem to have gotten the hint. She tried again. _Who else have I been with in recent years?_ She didn’t realize she had already spoken.  
  
“I came in here with Cedric last year," she blurted out.  
  
This was not at all going the way she had planned. Why Cedric, of all the people she could have mentioned? This was feeling more wrong by the second; she could feel the tears coming, she wasn't supposed to get upset, not on Valentine's Day in Madam Puddifoot's with Harry Potter...  
  
She took a deep, shuddering breath. “I’ve been meaning to ask you for ages... Did Cedric — did he m-m-mention me at all before he died?” She could tell he was slightly agitated, from the way his expression looked desperate, looking around wildly as people began to stare. He tried to change the topic back to Quidditch, but it was too late. “Look, let’s not talk about Cedric right now... Let’s talk about something else..."

She knew he had meant to sound comforting, and she knew he cared a lot about her, but her emotions took over. Before she could stop it, tears were running down her face again, and her words were sounding increasingly incoherent as she started to cry at the same time. “I thought you’d u-u-understand! I need to talk about it! Surely you n-need to talk about it t-too! I mean, you saw it happen, d-didn’t you?”

This was becoming a mess. Why wouldn’t he understand? Or was it just her alone who was upset about Cedric’s death? Harry mumbled something about talking to Ron and Hermione… _Hermione Granger!_  
  
“Oh, you’ll talk to Hermione Granger!” She was hiccupping as she talked, her voice becoming more hysterical as she continued, “But you won’t talk to me! P-perhaps it would be best if we just p-paid and you went and met up with Hermione G-Granger,” she added all the malice she could into the last line, “like you obviously want to!”

He stood up as she rose to leave, dabbing at her eyes with her napkin, but her tears were too much for the small sheet to contain as the rushed down her cheeks like a mini-waterfall. She heard him call her name, his voice tentative. She was _so_ angry at the moment; she knew she was losing control of herself, but she couldn’t help it.  
  
“Go on, leave!” she yelled in fury. “I don’t know why you asked me out in the first place if you’re going to make arrangements to meet other girls right after me… How many are you meeting after Hermione?” She had added the last line out of pure spite.

“It’s not like that!” she heard him deny, and she knew that he was telling the truth, but all she wanted to do at the moment was to infuriate Harry Potter to no end. With a dramatic toss of her hair, she said, sniffing, “I’ll see you around, Harry,” hiccupped, dashed to the door, wrenched it open, and ran off without so much as a glance back at him.

“Cho!”


	11. Sneak

She had to find him. It was outrageous, what Hermione Granger had done. How dare she jinx that list without telling them? It was almost like she didn’t trust any of them not to tell, and now Marietta was going to be scarred forever with those horrible purple pustules on her face.

Cho had just been to visit her friend in the Hospital Wing, and Marietta had been so embarrassed she had covered her face with her sheets to talk to her. Madam Pomfrey had been fussing about, as usual, saying there was no cure just yet, and that she would have to wait for the pimples to wither by themselves. However, Marietta subsequently let out a long wail, and she comforted her, saying that Madam Pomfrey would be able to help…

She saw him wandering around in the corridor and ran up to him. She intended to start out lightly. “Harry, I never dreamed Marietta would tell…” she said frantically, hoping he would do something about it and apologise somewhat. Instead, he gave her a cold stare, and she noticed that he looked like he was in a particularly foul mood. She tried to convince him that it wasn’t her fault, but knew she was fighting a losing battle as soon as she admitted that Marietta was a lovely person, who just made a mistake…

The incredulous look he gave her made her realize she wouldn’t be forgiven in a hurry. It really wasn’t fair though, she thought. Marietta’s parents worked for the Ministry – but her argument was rendered worthless as Harry retorted that Ron’s did too. So she decided to change tactics and accuse him instead.

“That was a really horrible trick of Hermione Granger’s. She should have told us she’d jinxed that list —”

She couldn’t believe after all that had happened, he was still an insensitive git, standing up for Hermione and saying it was a brilliant idea. _That’s my best friend in the Hospital Wing you’re accusing!_ she thought. _How dare you!_

“Oh yes, I forgot — of course, if it was darling _Hermione’s_ idea —” she said spitefully.

“Don’t start crying again,” retorted Harry, coldly.

That struck a nerve in her and she boiled over. Clenching her fists, resisting the urge to slap him across the face, she shouted, “I wasn’t going to!”

“Yeah… well… good,” he said without even flinching. “I’ve got enough to cope with at the moment.”

What did he have to cope with that was so important he wouldn’t care about his girlfriend or her best friend? “Go and cope with it then!” she yelled again, giving him a last look of distaste and stalking off in a huff.

As soon as she left, she knew she had made a grave mistake. She had intended to go up to him and apologise for ditching him at Madam Puddifoot’s – no one deserved mortification to that extent – and then mention lightly that she thought what Hermione Granger had done was wrong. As usual, her plans had gone awry. _Too late now,_ she thought.


	12. The Quibbler

“What’s that you’ve got there?” asked Cho, as she entered the Hospital Wing and saw Marietta holding a brightly coloured magazine in her hands.

“It’s _The Quibbler_ ,” she said. “Madam Pomfrey was reading it a while ago and I asked if I could borrow it. I’m going to have to disguise it later, though,” she added in a whisper, “Umbridge’ll hit the roof if she finds out I’ve got this.”

“May I see it?” asked Cho. Marietta nodded, and handed the tabloid to her. Her pimples were much better now, but her visage still looked much on the purple side. Cho looked down and stared at the title, which was in large capital letters.

**HARRY POTTER SPEAKS OUT AT LAST:**

**THE TRUTH ABOUT HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED**

**AND THE NIGHT I SAW HIM RETURN**  

Her hand flew to her mouth as the other clutched the magazine tightly; did Harry really do an interview with _The Quibbler_? She was immediately intrigued. Her eyes skimmed the page.

_Harry Potter, age 15, also known as the Boy Who Lived, tells of his last encounter with the Dark Lord in the previous year during the final task of the Triwizard Tournament. Accompanied by Cedric Diggory, 17, after agreeing to take the Triwizard Cup at the same moment, they were apparently transported to an old graveyard._

_“We were wondering where we were at first,” says Potter. “We were thinking that it was a surprise final challenge the teachers set us or something, but then Wormtail – sorry, Peter Pettigrew – emerged.” Pettigrew, who was previously believed dead at the hands of escaped Azkaban prisoner Sirius Black, is now apparently alive and still at large, servant to He Who Must Not Be Named. According to Potter, Pettigrew is in fact an unregistered Animagus who takes form of a rat at will._

_“Pettigrew was holding something in his arms, wrapped in a cloth,” Potter continues. “I didn’t know what it was at first, but when I looked at it my scar burned, and I knew it was…something bad. Then I heard_ his _voice say, “_ Kill the spare _,” and then Cedric…” Harry Potter’s startling eyes glisten with unshed tears for a moment, and he looks away for several seconds. He takes a deep breath. “Cedric was murdered by Lord Voldemort.”_

Cho’s breath caught.

_Potter is believed by many to be a proficient liar and perhaps insane, but his story of his last meeting with You-Know-Who seems to be very realistic. After Cedric’s murder, Harry was forced to duel He Who Must Not Be Named. They were surrounded by a large group of Death Eaters who jeered them on. When asked for their names, Potter replies, “I remember Voldemort calling them…there was Lucius Malfoy…Nott…Crabbe…Goyle…Avery…”_

She forced herself to tear her eyes away from the page. She looked upwards to the ceiling, trying to hide from Marietta the fact that she was crying again. She shoved _The Quibbler_ back into her hands. “Here,” she said hurriedly, “you can have it back,” then she rushed out of the Hospital Wing without a preliminary goodbye.

Her tears had dried by the time she reached the corridor. She willed her mind to get a grip on herself, and when she opened her eyes again, there he was. Before she knew what had happened her hand was in his and she was breathing in his ear, “I’m really, really sorry.” Her hand squeezed; she felt him tense, then squeeze back. “That interview was so brave… it made me cry.” She knew she had been forgiven when he smiled.


	13. Wrong Comfort

_“Who’s she with now anyway?” Ron asked Hermione, but it was Ginny who answered._  
“Michael Corner,” she said.  
“Michael — but —” said Ron, craning around in his seat to stare at her. “But you were going out with him!”  
“Not anymore,” said Ginny resolutely. “He didn’t like Gryffindor beating Ravenclaw at Quidditch and got really sulky, so I ditched him and he ran off to comfort Cho instead.”

_\- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_

* * *

“Hey, Cho.”

She turned and saw a very sulky Michael Corner looking down at her on the Quidditch stands. “What is it?” she asked. Michael blinked. “Um, nothing. Are you okay?” he said hurriedly, noticing the tear streaks on her face. “Ravenclaw was steamrollered by that Ginny Weasley,” he huffed. “You could have taken the Snitch any time, she was just messing around with you.” Cho shook her head, trying to look as humble as she could, and looked down into her lap. Then, a thought suddenly came to her.

“But I thought you were going out with _her,_ ” she said, looking up again. “Shouldn’t you be backing her up?” Michael threw his head back and laughed loudly; for a moment she was surprised, but then he said, “I just broke up with her. She insisted that Gryffindor was better than Ravenclaw no matter how hard we tried, and I told her I wasn’t going to take that crap from her.” He grinned. “So I ran off.”

“Yeah, well, I was getting pretty worked up about it,” sniffed Cho, wiping a nonexistent tear from her eye. It took some nerve to grab the Snitch when she was just about to get it; it was right in front of her until she heard a loud _whoosh,_ and in a flash, Ginny was gone, the Snitch clasped triumphantly in her small fingers. She knew it was childish of her, but she had burst into tears at the injustice of it.

“She’s looking at us,” whispered Michael, looking over his shoulder. “Hey, do you mind?” he asked, gesturing towards the empty space next to her. Cho shook her head with a gentle smile, and Michael sat down with a sigh.

She noticed how uncomfortably close they were to each other; their legs were touching, the edge of his robes brushing against hers. Cho looked down, wanting to move, but she couldn’t do so without shifting her bag as well, so she resorted to not doing anything. Michael looked at her. “Are you still dating Harry Potter?” he asked. “I don’t see you two together these days.”

“Oh, no,” said Cho. She hesitated, then thought, _I might as well admit it,_ and said, “We broke up too, but that was a while back. No hard feelings between us, though.”

Michael tried not to look too happy about it. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, not sounding altogether apologetic. In fact, there was a twinkle in his eye as he said it. Cho raised an eyebrow. “There’s no need,” she said quietly. “I had a row with him, sort of, and I ditched him. But then I apologised, and we’re okay now.”

“Well, we’re in the same boat then, aren’t we?” said Michael. Again, Cho looked at him quizzically. His eyes glinted once again, and he explained, “We’re both Ravenclaws, you see, and we both ditched Gryffindors." 

Cho couldn’t help smiling in spite of herself – what a coincidence it was. “Well – ”

“I have a plan,” said Michael suddenly, sounding rather excited for it to be good. Cho looked at him. “I can see them looking at us right now,” he said, his gaze momentarily darting away from her to look at Harry and Ginny out of the corner of his eye. “What do you say to making them a little more angry than they already are?” And before Cho could ask him what he meant, he reached out, took her by the hand, pulled her close to him and kissed her. 

Cho felt like protesting at first; _this is so wrong,_ she thought, _I shouldn’t be doing this_ ; but after a few seconds she realised that Michael was a rather good kisser – much better than Harry, at any rate. Then again, she had been too busy crying at the time, so she couldn’t talk. She opened her eyes and saw Ginny staring at the two of them from a few stands away, open-mouthed and wide-eyed. She quickly closed them again before she saw her looking, but had the distinct impression that she already had.

 _You little slut,_ a voice said inside her head. _Your friends were right about you – first Cedric, then Roger Davies, Harry Potter, and now Michael Corner? You’re trying to set a record now, aren’t you…_

Tears sprang to her eyes, and she broke the kiss, wrenching her lips away from Michael, who had been trying to prod hers open with his tongue, attempting to deepen the kiss. She turned away quickly before he could see her crying, but a telltale teardrop fell before she could stop it. “Wait,” called Michael, as she got up, grabbed her bag and ran off, “Cho, wait!” But without a look back, she was gone.


	14. Fallout

_Cho was passing, accompanied by Marietta Edgecombe, who was wearing a balaclava. His and Cho’s eyes met for a moment. Cho blushed and kept walking. Harry looked back down at the chessboard just in time to see one of his pawns chased off its square by Ron’s knight._

_\- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_

* * *

“Don’t look at him,” hissed Marietta, as they passed Harry and his friends’ compartment. Her voice was slightly muffled, due to the fact that she was wearing a large, Ravenclaw-blue balaclava over her head, so the only part of her face she could see were her dark, calculating eyes. Cho ignored her and looked through the glassy door; she glimpsed Harry and their eyes met for a moment. She blushed without realizing she had done it, but quickly turned away and walked on.

They slid open the next empty compartment they could find, quickly settling themselves in the comfy chairs there, sitting face-to-face. Without preamble, Marietta suddenly said, “So…” Cho looked at her warily. “What?”

“A little birdie told me you’re with Michael Corner now,” said Marietta with a sarcastic sniff. Cho couldn’t tell much of her expression, but from the way her eyes were shifting, it wasn’t positive. “What are you talking about?” Cho asked, but knew the answer before her best friend said it. She had a knack of doing that a lot.

“Well, to put it bluntly, I don’t approve,” said Marietta simply, looking out of the window. Cho thought she looked rather bothered by it, but she didn’t know why. She tilted her head to one side as she observed her friend. “What’s it to you if I’m dating him?” she asked. “It’s not like you fancy him or anything, do you?”

“No,” said Marietta with a laugh, as if the idea itself were ludicrous. “It’s just that you were rather quick, weren’t you? You change boyfriends an awful lot. And you know how Michael is with girls… he’ll just use you, and throw you away when you’ve given him what he wants.”

“He wouldn’t do that!” Cho said hotly, feeling a familiar flush creeping to her cheeks.

“Yes, he will, trust me,” argued Marietta.

“No, he won’t,” Cho retorted.

They went back and forth like this for a while, until Marietta suddenly got sick of it and stood up. “Fine!” she said. “If you won’t believe me, then I won’t waste my time trying to protect you from the inevitable! If you really care that much about him, then I’m not going to bother. Maybe he’ll pass by later, and come into this compartment, but I won’t be here because _I’m leaving!_ ” She stormed out, arms swinging angrily by her sides.

Cho buried her face in her hands. _Not again,_ she thought irritably. The worst thing was, Marietta was right, but she wasn’t going to admit it in a hurry. Truth be told, she didn’t really care about Michael – they were only using each other to get back at their exes. Evidently, it hadn’t worked, because Harry and Ginny promptly ignored them whenever they did what they called their ‘public displays of affection’ in front of the two of them. Cho had tried to call it off, saying that Harry and Ginny weren’t going to fall for it, but Michael had unfortunately insisted that they keep it up, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

What was she doing to herself? She had now lost her closest friend, whom she had known for nearly six years, all because of a boy they fought over that she didn’t even have any real feelings for. She supposed she had to rely on Michael now, but she didn’t want to do that at all; he didn’t understand her, and he never would. What was it to him if she had lost her old boyfriend to the Dark Lord? Why would he care if she had dated the Boy Who Lived? It didn’t matter to him; all he cared about was the fact that she was single.

She sat up again, lolling her head against the window, bumping slightly as the train rolled over the tracks. Why had she broken up with Harry in the first place? _Because I said Hermione Granger’s jinx was a horrible trick,_ she told herself. Harry had obviously been incensed; that was one of his best friends she was talking about. Then again, Marietta had been a sneak. Harry was right; she had sold out the entire D.A. and betrayed everyone. She had been stupid at the time, maintaining that Marietta was a good person who made a mistake. No one was going to take that from her seriously.

But Marietta had been a good friend. It was too bad that they weren’t friends anymore, but she really thought Michael Corner wasn’t worth a lost friendship. He wasn’t even worth half the trouble.

 _I must be blind,_ she thought sadly.


	15. Layered Makeup and False Determination

_The exception was Cho Chang, who darted into her compartment when she saw Harry coming. As Harry passed the window, he saw her deep in determined conversation with her friend Marietta, who was wearing a very thick layer of makeup that did not entirely obscure the odd formation of pimples still etched across her face._

-       _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_

* * *

Cho’s next summer passed rather quickly. She had been to visit her grandparents in Shanghai, and had spent most of her time there sightseeing. She wrote a postcard to Marietta telling her how much fun it was, despite the fact that it was almost freezing and about to snow. The postcard had a curious photo of a tall, pink stick of a building, except for the three balls stuck onto it, like the shape of Dumbledore’s wand.

They had forgotten about the argument on the train from last year, and were grudgingly sitting in the same compartment on the Hogwarts Express again. Well, not quite forgotten – Marietta still had SNEAK written across her face, but she had done a good job obscuring them with layers and layers of makeup, which according to her was a bother to apply every morning (“It takes me hours and hours”). They were only sitting together because Marietta didn’t want Cho sitting with Michael Corner in case he ‘took advantage of her’, as she put it; Cho wanted to sit with her so she wouldn’t have to deal with the awkwardness and discomfort in the shape of Harry James Potter.

He had passed when she was entering her compartment, but Marietta took her by the scruff and dragged her inside with a squeak before she could even say hello. Marietta immediately began speaking to her in a high, unnatural voice, asking her what she thought of today’s weather. At first she thought it was rather odd, but noticed quickly that Harry was watching and decided to play along, pretending she was deep in conversation with her so-called best friend.

As soon as they got off the train, however, Marietta instantly stopped talking to her. She was conversing with some other seventh-year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs about their N.E.W.T.s, and Cho felt hopelessly left out as she tried to enter the conversation time and time again, and failed.

Michael Corner walked by, and Cho thought desperately, _please ignore me, I’m not here, I’m not here_ ; he pulled her aside and kissed her roughly. “Missed me?” he whispered in her ear, his breath tickling the nape of her neck. She shivered and nodded, because that was the answer he would expect from her. “Me too,” he said, kissing her again.

She was used to this now. Slightly intimidated by his figure, she responded to what he wanted. Fortunately they had never gone beyond snogging; she had stopped that when he attempted to sneak his hand up her blouse one day in the Ravenclaw common room by slapping his hand away. He immediately apologized, though he had sounded insincere, as he usually did. She didn’t really care though. She just wasn’t bothered to care any longer.


	16. Ravenclaw's Diadem

Cho was now a Hogwarts alumni. She still couldn’t believe it until this moment. The thing was that she didn’t quite know where to go next. She had originally aimed to apply to work at the Ministry, but seeing as to how it had turned out, her goal was a goner. She then tried Gringotts, but all their applications were full. Nowadays, she spent her time wandering about the streets with nothing to do, save for tidying up the tiny flat her wealthy Chinese parents had bought for her. She had enough money in her vault to live the rest of her life, but there was something missing; there always was. 

So when she found that Hogwarts was at war and Harry Potter was nowhere to be found, she jumped at the first chance she got to return. If she couldn’t do anything useful, she thought, she might as well fight. With the other D.A. members who had been thinking along the same lines, they stayed in the Room of Requirement and battled day and night with the Death Eater teachers there, tending to the wounded and helping out anyone who needed it.

Everyone had a generally positive, grin-and-bear-it attitude towards the new Hogwarts. What with Professor Snape as their new Head, things were getting grim. They got more restless as the year went on, searching for a nonexistent source of hope, anything they could rely on. When they found nothing, their new leader, Neville Longbottom, always gave them comforting words of encouragement to keep them going, but they all knew it wasn’t enough. 

She was about to leave. She couldn’t see the point of it anymore, staying in the Room of Requirement when all they did was wait for a signal that wasn’t there. Her friends were becoming equally impatient, and they were all ready to insult Neville Longbottom the next moment he made a mistake. Then he disappeared through a hole in the wall, and all of them were wondering just what the hell was going on, until he emerged with none other than Harry Potter himself.

It was elation beyond anything they could have imagined. There he stood, ragged and tired-looking, but no one cared; Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, The Chosen One, was back, alive and well. She joined everyone else in their attempts to drown him with hugs and pats on the back and tears of joy; their will to fight had returned, now that he was there to join them and support whatever they did. She had arrived slightly later than everyone else, of course, but when she felt her Galleon grow hot, she knew they had hope. 

Then he told them about his mission to find something of Ravenclaw’s. Her diadem, perhaps? She meant to say so, but Luna cut across her before the words escaped her lips. She did contribute later on, by saying meekly that the diadem had been lost for centuries without a trace. 

When Harry asked for a volunteer to help find the diadem, she made to get up, but Ginny said rather forcefully, “No, Luna will take Harry, won’t you, Luna?” Luna happily obliged, but Cho couldn’t stop the disappointment from showing on her face. She had planned to get Harry alone. _Bitch,_ she thought to herself, glaring daggers at Ginny. If looks could kill, Ginny would have been mutilated beyond recognition.

Cho had broken up with Michael Corner some time ago, after realizing that their plan wasn’t going to work. What was more, Harry was now going out with Ginny, so they hadn’t paid the slightest attention to her at all. Michael had been rather angry about it, she could recall, but there was nothing they could do – she didn’t love him, and they both knew it.

And as she watched Harry leave with Luna Lovegood, she knew there was no turning back.


	17. Valiance

Her face was damp, but it wasn’t tears. It felt sticky, and it was running down the side of her face as she lay there on the dusty ground.She was almost sure she knew what it was, and wanted to touch it to confirm her rising suspicions, but her arm hurt too much. Her entire body was bursting with agony.

 _How am I still alive?_ She had faced five Death Eaters at the same time, and they had blasted her with some curse she had ducked, but the last one struck her across the face and she had fallen. She was alone now, but she could already feel the remaining strength that was left in her ebbing away.

 _At least I did well_ , she thought. She knew from books that at times when one was close to death, their life would flash before their eyes, and it did that - she thought back to long forgotten memories. Smiling at Harry Potter and flirting with him, during that Quidditch match so long ago; meeting Cedric and dancing with him at the Yule Ball, while Harry watched them enviously; watching him die and being overcome with despair; kissing Harry under the mistletoe and instantly regretting it...her tears mixed with her blood, which was already pooling on the ground and spreading through the cracks in the cold, hard stone.  
  
If he could see her now, she thought with a pang in her heart. Lying pitifully on the ground, waiting for the doors of death to approach her... out of the corner of her eye, she could see a large, ugly troll approaching her with a club in his hands. Normally, she would have run screaming, but now she didn't care. Perhaps the troll would finish her off, then she could die in peace.

She only wished she could see Harry again and apologise for everything they had been through... this was not meant to be, and nor were they. Inexplicably, she also wanted to wish him a happy life with Ginny Weasley, however much of a bitch she was, she knew only the red-haired girl would give him happiness and everything else she didn’t have the power to give...  
  
The troll was coming closer, but she saw someone else running towards her, someone with a mask. A Death Eater, but she didn’t know who, since his face was shrouded by a silvery mask. She couldn't call out or fight back, her voice was too soft and her body too weak. _Just let me go. I give up._  
  
A streak of green light flew like a shooting star towards her chest, but before it did, she suddenly realised what she had been doing all along. 

 _If I can’t have Harry,_ she thought, _I’d rather be alone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want more tragedy, take a look at my other story Gryffindor At Heart, a four-chapter work detailing Parvati’s rivalry with her twin, which ultimately leads to the biggest sacrifice of all…


End file.
